Dear Nanny,
Things are slowly feeling a little better. Me not talking to you in days is something that happened a lot with how hectic life gets at times. I hate to admit that it feels normal and like you are still next door sitting on the couch waiting for me. It makes me feel like you are still here. Although there are no phones in Heaven, I'll imagine you calling me to check on me because you were thinking about me. I'll imagine I'm hearing from you which prompted me to come to update you on life. Old habits don't die when those we do them with do.
Your spirit is definitely living close to me or in me. Either way, I know you are with me. It's the little things.
How my (excuse my language) "shit"'s have gotten more frequent. Thanks for that, Nanny. I laugh every time because it reminds me how much you would say it, or how much it would randomly slip out of your mouth and we would laugh. Hearing you cuss was the funniest thing ever. Because they never expect innocents like us to let a cuss word slip, but we do from time to time.
Then, it is the way I hold grudges/stay mad at people even more than normal. You held grudges like nobody's business. People should have been scared of making you mad, I know I was. There was no telling when you would forgive someone or not be mad at them anymore. You were a tough cookie to crack, but you always seemed to have a soft spot for me, although I never really made you too mad either. :)
How I randomly stick my tongue out like you did. Dustin said, last night, that we were pulling a Nanny when we stuck our tongues out like you would at PawPaw. While eating hushpuppies with your favorite sauce at Shef's Kitchen, no less. I'll always remember sitting next to you in one of the booths last year and eating all the hushpuppies with you.
Mostly, I just miss giving you updates. I wish you would have gotten to see my house. I got the okay to move some stuff in - starting this weekend, Can you believe it? I know I'll be living 20 minutes max from PawPaw and you, but I'll still come to visit, visits just look different these days. I know y'all are happy for me. You know I can't leave the hillside entirely, that's home. That's where you and our memories are. But, I know you'll be with me wherever I go.
I love you, my sweet angel.
Until Next Time,
Em
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